January 20, 2017

Should never have watched that Program on PBS about Alzheimer’s. True they showed some of the scariest aspects of the disease but I am sure that most could recognize some of the small initial symptoms in ourselves, especially if we happened to be baby boom generation. There are surely medical tests that your doctor can run to find out if you are at risk and a myriad of things online that a Google search will turn up. My doctor, as kind and thorough as she is, says “Do you really want to know?” I do not know just how I would react to the information but I do know how I have reacted to past medical issues and the fear of dying or just the fear of the unknown itself has never bolted its way to the forefront. One step at a time, do what you imagine you are supposed to do, call 911, get to a doctor or hospital and let the professionals sort things out. Whatever is going to happen will happen and hopefully we come out the other side with a little more knowledge, a speck more appreciation of the life we have or we truly come out on the other side, if there indeed is another side.

In my little walk here, I seem to have stumbled into, what some may call, The Land of the Morose. It was never my intention but, occasionally, what we do and what we intend to do somehow get jumbled up along the way. Is there a way back to the initial point I thought I might have been making. In writing there always is, the new paragraph. Here we go.

Oh yes, memorable, the loss of the memorable and the loss of the just plain mundane because of a disease. It is by all accounts a slow and steady process, more painful to those witnessing it rather than the frustrated afflicted. Because let’s face it, to the afflicted, at least early on, the frustrations to recall things stored in memory can be consciously moved to some back burner to let the brain itself resolve this retrieval problem, which it usually does in its own flash of inspiration moment, though the time lag usually makes the eureka moment seem very out of sync with present circumstance. Usually this lapse can be artfully managed with a little trick of misdirection, magicians themselves would marvel at our dexterity, and we continue on with only the internal shadow of shame to mark the seemingly ever increasing number of incidents.


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